Stamina
by Reader115
Summary: Raphael should know better than to bet against Leonardo. Won 3rd place for "Best Comedy" and tied for 2nd for "Best Lewd Comedy" in 2015 fanfiction competitions. Rating due to language (cant blame it all on Raph's mouth this time, either). Possible implied Tcest. Nothing graphic. I don't own the turtles. Cover Art Certificate by silver-moon-rabbit


**A/N: This one-shot can now be also be found within my story, "Promise"**

 **Honestly, I don't swear that much, if at all, so I'm not sure why I found this so funny. But I do. And I hope you do, too.**

* * *

It was late one night and they were sitting at the kitchen table playing a card game. Leo wasn't even sure how the topic had come up.

"I'm just not sure you even know that many curse words," Raph said.

"Seriously? After listening to you for how many years?" Leo flicked a card into the center of the table. "Do you know that you once called me a goddamn pile of frog shit?"

Raph had the decency to pretend to look contrite.

"Still," Raph continued as he threw another card into the center pile, "I get it. Yer honor-bound brain just doesn't allow such profanities to fly out of yer honor-bound mouth."

"Really?" Leo asked, shooting him an amused look.

"It's like there's a switch in yer head that prevents it," Raph said, almost whispering to himself. He tilted his head and his green eyes studied Leo's head as if he could see inside it.

"You're hilarious," Leo said, dryly. He tossed another card to the pile.

"Not to worry," Raph said, smacking his hand down on the table. "Its not your fuckin fault and I'm here for you. I'll swear enough for the both of us. Shit," he said, adding the last word just to make his point.

"You feel as though the universe requires a certain number of swear words spewed into its atmosphere every day?"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely."

"And you don't think I'm carrying my own weight in this department?"

Raphael could feel a challenge coming and grinned inwardly. He tossed out another card.

"I believe we have found something, Fearless, where you come up short."

Leo narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Want to bet?"

"I'm pretty sure you don't know how to do that either. You have noticed that you talked me into playing war instead of poker, right?"

"So you _don't_ want to bet?" Leo asked.

"Fine," Raph said, sighing dramatically. "What are the terms?" he leaned forward, his mischievous smile showing off most of his teeth.

"I will cover our share of cussing for the universe for one week, which means that you will refrain -"

"Hey –"

"You don't think you can stop?" Leo asked, innocently. "For one short little week?"

It was Raphael's turn to narrow his eyes at his brother.

"The only condition will be no swearing expected in front of sensei," Leo continued.

"And what do I get when I win?"

"What do you want?"

"I want you to go for a ride on my bike with me."

Leo considered and then nodded.

"And you?" Raphael asked, a smug look on his face as though he knew it wouldn't matter what Leo said since he fully intended to win the bet.

"I want you to agree to do whatever I want for one whole night, without arguing."

"When do I argue with you?"

"You're arguing with me right now."

"When do we start?"

"Right no-"

"Wait!" Raph said, holding up his hand. "Goddamn pile of frog shit. Fuck."

Leo raised an eyeridge. "You good?"

"Lets do this, Fearless."

* * *

At first it was fun. The looks on Donnie's and Mikey's shocked faces were well worth it every time Leo let a swear word fly out.

It was a little harder than Raphael thought it was going to be to keep the profanities out of his own vocabulary. He caught himself a couple times. But overall, he was feeling pretty confident. He could already see Leo sitting on the back of his bike, holding onto him as they sped through the city.

Two days later, however, he found himself flinching every time Leo cursed.

Every. Single. Time.

It just wasn't right. He thought he'd enjoy this. Hell, he thought it'd be kind of hot. And maybe in bed it would be. But in every day conversation? It just didn't sound right coming out Leo's mouth.

Leo may be the leader and Leo may be a deadly fighter, but Leo's face still looked rather innocent to Raphael. Leo moved with the grace of a swan for fuck's sake. The swear words were unnatural coming from that face. It was making him cringe.

He was in big trouble.

* * *

They were at breakfast on the fourth morning when Raph threw his hands up it the air and started yelling.

"Stop. Please. Just stop. You win. I concede. You fucking win."

Leo stared innocently at Raphael. "What's the fucking problem, Raph?"

Mikey and Donnie continued to eat, hiding their smiles behind forks and coffee mugs as they looked back and forth between their brothers.

"I cant. I cant take any more. I thought I would like it but I just cant take this with the – the face and the mouth – "

"My face and my mouth?" Leo tilted his head, looking confused.

"It's not right," Raph said. "Just stop."

"Well, shit Raph, if that's how you-"

"Stop!"

Leo chuckled. "Look, _you_ turned this on. And it's coming pretty naturally now. It probably won't be that easy to turn off. Plus, I had to up my game. You lasted _way longer_ than I thought you were going to and-"

"You didn't think I was going to last long!? How long did you think I was going to last?"

He watched Leo's shoulders shake from the laugh he was trying to contain.

"What!?"

"Do you have any idea what this conversation would sound like to someone listening in out of context?"

Raph paused and replayed what he'd just said in his head.

"Fuckin shithead," Raph muttered, turning to storm away from his smug brother.

"Oh, come on, Raph!" Leo called after him. "I'm sorry! I'm sure you normally last a long time!"

Mikey snorted so hard he spewed eggs across his plate.

Donnie's coffee mug hit the table with a loud thud.

Raphael stopped in his tracks and spun back around to glare at Leo.

"Shit," Leo whispered, before grinning and sprinting in the other direction, Raphael hot on his tail.

"Mike, promise to never bet against Leo," Donnie said, wiping up the coffee that had spilled on the table.

"I think eggs went up my nose, bro!"


End file.
